What is Lower Merion High School?
1.
While I would hesitate to call Lower Merion a vanguard of cultural and economic diversity, it is an excellent high school for those not lucky enough to attend one the fine private institutions forming the lovely young adults such as my fellow linguist above. Large, wealthy, and full of activity, LM is a public high school somewhere between Newport and Chino, but 100% Main Line.
P.S. Of course, if you're ever in need of barbituates or stolen Malibu rum, you'll want to try Harriton.
I go to LM, I wear Prada, and I do Players.
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2.
The alma mater of Kobe Bryant, who decided to forego his NCAA eligibility and instead declared himself eligible for the 1996 NBA Draft with the 13th overall pick by the LA Lakers directly out of high school, who essentially got Kobe for Vlade Divac.
Kobe Bryant is Lower Merion High School's most famous alumnus.
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3.
A school that spawns So Low wearing, Starbucks drinking, lacrosse playing, blackberry using, facebook addictied, grade worrying, Dave Mattew's Band listening, Platt partying, Shampoo clubbing, Jewish practicing, nice car driving, sex having, weed smoking, mindless alcoholic douche bags that just follow the latest trend and who think they are the celebrities of the world, when in reality, the only people that like them live in the asshole capital of the US, the mainline. And even then, their overly dramatic friends all find ways to hate on each other cause they have nothing better to do.
All the black kids think they are cold, hard gangsters, and all the white kids think they are athletic and suave.
Every one follows the same trends, and noone thinks for themselves.
All kids do on the weekends is drink and then talk about it the following monday like its the first time Julie passed out and the cops came.
People here also go to concerts frequently, but not for the music, just as an excuse to get drunk again.
If you want to hate your life in 4 years or less, I suggest you go to this school.
Typical Attire of a Lower Merion Student
Girl:
Northface jacket
so low pants
uggs
Guy:
sideways college hat
northface jacket
sweatpants
high black nike socks
nike shoes
Typical sayings of a Lower Merion Student
"I guess..."
"Really?"
"I mean..."
Douchebag 1: Yo man, what are you doing this weekend?
Douchebag 2: You know, going up to the Platt, getting wasted and then having sex with five girls, and then I'm going to talk about it Monday in the middle of my Gov class so everyone knows how cool I am, even though I'm an unoriginal asshat who thinks I've pioneered the art of drinking.
Overly Dramatic Slut 1: OMG!!!11one liek i cant believe she would say something like that. What a fucking bitch!! and i cant believe that our english teacher gave us so much work liek, Really?? And i cant believe that johns party got busted!!one1 and how do my so low pants, uggs, and north face jacket look today?
Overly Dramatic Slut 2: I mean, really? I guessssssss. They look great as usual, and yeaaa that was sooo gay I cant wait to get fucked by jonny tonight yayyyy
Guy with a mind of his own: I need to get the fuck out of lower merion high school.
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4.
this is the high school where all of the rich, prepy, cowlicks in front of there hair, jews go to high school. everybody who goes there are losers who think they are the coolest people in the fucking world. but really they are the biggest pricks. if anybody from there is reading this...FUCK YOU.
The kids from Lower Merion are faggots.
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