What is Machete?
1.
A
Hello, my name is Jason Vorhees, I wear a hockey mask, and I am a machete-killer addict
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2.
A chunk of sharp metal fitted with a handle that would cause any poor bastard a world of pain
did you know jason has a machete
3.
Something you pull on 10 guys wanting to jump you in the parking lot of a BP. Usually with an 18 inch blade and a thick hard plastic handle.
*Van pulls up and a gaggle of people jump out*
Jesse: Are you the fuckers I am supposed to whip the shit out of?
Me: HEY! Fuck you guys you are bringing 10 guys?!!? Well, this makes it even Jesse, Me, and this machete
*Van pulls away with quite a quickness*
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4.
a long knife, used for hacking your way through the jungle. also the most awesome zombie killing tool ever.
Shit, theres zombies outside. wheres my machete
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5.
After the act of either anal sex, vaginal sex, behind the knee sex, and/or being BLOWN, the man removes his penis and with a slashing motion, during the release of his baby yogurt, slaps the female continuously across the facial area. This creates a flowing stream of white goodness that showers the females face. The man also has the option of screaming "Machete" as he is bringing down the cum hammer.
Dude, I got pissed at your mom yesterday so I went ahead and gave her a Machete. She then had the biscuits to say that she wanted another. Dude, your mom loves the cock!
6.
when a man is about to ejaculate, he pulls out of her anus and in a chopping motion slaps the girl in the face as he is ejaculating.
hey dude, i got pissed off at your mom yesterday so i went ahead and gave her a machete.
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7.
the alternate name for the male "unit" usually reffered by this name to impress the length of the machete to the ladies.
hey baby, let me show you my machete.
