What is Malachi Crunch?
1.
1. Demolition Derby maneuver in which two contestants working in tandem crash into an opponent simultaneously from opposite sides, thereby creating the effect of a trash compactor. Coined in an episode of Happy Days, when the Malachi Brothers execute this maneuver on Pinky Tuscadero's car at the climax of the demolition derby. Pinky survived.
2. Any wanton attack that involves a two-pronged blitzkrieg by equal forces, converging on an incapacitated target.
3. Lascivious maneuver in which a female with ample bosom attacks a passed-out concert-goer with said bosoms, placed on either side of said concert-goers head, and subsequently crushing that head.
"Jen gave John a Malachi Crunch after he passed out in his seat at the Rush concert."
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