What is Mallcow?
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Mallcows are clueless shoppers at suburban malls who are easily manipulated into paying for useless gadgets and superfluous fashion trends. Widely varying in age and demographics, mallcows include common suburban archetypes such as soccer moms, teeny boppers, and high school jocks.
"Oh, look, What Not To Wear got their hands on yet another mallcow...."
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When a douche-bag dies, Their body are planted in a douche field. They grow into douche-hops. They are harvested around spring break and..
