What is Malta?
1.
A small island off the coast of Europe. It is a peaceful place with beatiful beaches and views. the people of malta are religious but still maintain there social lives adequetly. as a result the teens have crazy nightclubs dominated by outrageously good techno beats. The most beatiful place in the world.
Anyone who dont like malta can suk a dik
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2.
Malta: A place where cultures have collided over centuries. This island is once more under siege. The assailants are now 'English language students'.
Sadly most of you think it's funny to bad-mouth an island that has withstood time & history, perhaps you should stick your back-packs back up where the sun don't shine (in your own country), because here in Malta it always shone brightly no matter what the trouble! Malta is certainly not perfect but it's got its good points too. Easy access to anywhere, warm long summer nites, entertainment, nice restaurants, friendly locals that will show you the way, everyone speaks at least 3 languages and whats more, where else can you buy pastizzi at 5am?
All i can say is that until younger hooligans started travelling to this mediterranean island, mostly with the 'excuse' to learn English, the place was peaceful, pretty clean & had beaches that offered spacious areas which were free from litter. Nowadays, indifferent youngsters fill the place with left-over takeaway wrappings, cigarette droppings, used condoms & vomit from the nite before (please refer to streets of paceville). Malta was never like this so to blame the locals on the state of affairs is quite rightly, incorrect. Please, when in Malta do as we do, show respect and hospitality for all, throw your trash in the bin, even if you have to caarry your paper around for an hour to find one! We may not have the latest technology here, nor the most modern of transportation, our roads may be bumpy but at least they make you laugh, our policemen may not carry guns but at least you can chat to them, and some village folk may be considered 'nosey' but they will be the first to help you if you're in trouble!! We give you our best welcome. But, if this isn't good enough for you, then don't come here at all.
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3.
The Mediteranean's Best kept secret :) as stated in the advert at the Isle of MTV Malta 2008. Enrique Iglesias loves it here.
In January 2007 International Living chose Malta as the country with the best climate in the world.
The Greeks called our island MELITE which means Honey :P Malta has had an endemic species of bee which lives on the island, giving it the common nickname the "land of honey.
malta- a best kept secret :D
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4.
A wannabe modern country. It is an Island in the middle of the Mediterrean Sea... similar to a turd floating in the middle of the toilet.
Filled with stupid fat people, crappy political parties, norman lowell and just a lot of wannabe western and modern shops people ....anything really.
It sucks especially since i cant find any shop that stocks shoes in my size... big people where shoes too.
Malta sucks dick
The Hamallu and the Tal-Pepe are indigenous to Malta and Gozo
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5.
Fortress island in the centre of the Med. Together with Gozo and Comino forms part of Maltese Archipelago. Home to 380,000 Maltese and sun-burnt tourists. Highest density of churches and pre-history per sq km in Europe. Higher density of bad roads, great beer, fresh bread, corrupt politicians, entrepreneurs, building sites, five-star hotels, lazy fat cats and cars with 'I love Jesus' and 'Jesus loves me' stickers. National football team famously once lost 12-1 to Spain in a World Cup qualifier, seriously tarnishing reputation in the Netherlands, who suspect foul play to this day. Record for most air raids in World War 2. Somehow survives, despite thousands of years of turbulent history and no natural resources other than the general craftiness and stubborness of the nation.
I'm trapped on the constipated island of Malta. I don't know if I should escape or stay here for ever.
The day after the atom bomb, there were the first signs of life in the island of Malta.
6.
Some island in the Mediterrenean. Consists of 3 smaller islands, Malta, Gozo and Comino (that's why they call it an archipelago really). Malta is densley populated (imagine 400,000 citizens living in your back garden), is visited by old retired pensionants who are really desperate to spend all their money in some five star hotel with a crappy service. Out of 10 people picked out at random, 9 of them go to church every day...while the other one practically lives in church. Far too sunny, a sea that smells, "modified" cars i.e.some speaker and a metal sheet molded and crafted to form a spoiler and some side skirts. Maltese speak some language stolen from the Arabs.
Once in Malta you will regularly meet a new strange human species, the "sendikajr" they call it. These are just extreme nosy parkers whose only job is to know what are the neighbours doing. The most social area in Malta is the "super"market, where they sell food..sort of.... Here the "sendikajr" shares the news aquired during the previous day, such as how much times did Mary go to the toilet, when did she shower, when she slept with Ganni the butcher etc etc. Also, here news get amazingly modified to suit the sendikajr's pleasures.
Clubs in Malta suck. Such that teens say they have fun listening the songs of some amateur DJ during the weekend. They just stand there doing nothing except nod with their head with the beat of the music....DUM DUM DUM, ZRINZ ZRINZ ZRINZ etc.
On the Maltese roads, US astronouts test their boogy moon vehicles. They produce the same effect due to the disgraceful state of the streets.
The government workers (known in Malta as "tal-gvern") are amazingly inefficient. They do nothing properly, they walk slow, and eat a lot while at work. It's some sort of addictiveness I guess. To fix some small pot hole, 15 government workers are needed, with the difference that only 2 of them do the job while the rest sit down on some bench eating sandwiches. The problem is that a pot hole is changed into a small hill by these workers.
Education in Malta sucks due to the fact that Malta is so small that there isn't enough work for graduated students. So the ministry of education had the genial idea to harden every exam. This turned out to be very effective, since suicide rate increased and mortuaries had to employ more workers.
It sucks at the point that there are only 2 political parties, Nationalist and Labour Party and a smaller one known in Malta as the Green Party. The Labour party has been in opposition since ages ago due to the fact that it was overthrown off power since it sucked bad.
A large amount of rest-of-the-world-banned trees that cause asthma are exibited in Malta and produce lovely red, pink and white flowers.
Churches can be found in the same amount of McDonalds in New York and are very strict.
Public Transport is the worst i have ever met. Remember the old Leyland buses? They still use them in Malta. Then there is the only ship company to travel between Malta and Gozo. They thank you for using their company (called Gozo Channel) before each voyage during an announcement. The pun is that it's the only ship company, so as long as you don't decide to swim it, they have nothing to thank you for.
Highly cultured, well uneducated, boring and entertaining to old tourists, Malta bears the honor of never loosing a battle, maybe a proof of the citizens' stubborness.
Malta is a small island
If you go to Malta you'll meet the president on the bus
7.
A God forsaken island forgotten in the middle of the Med. The "hub" of Europe, Malta has been backdoored by every conceivable power that crossed Europe from the Greeks to the Romans, from the Arabs to the Templars, from the French to the Brits with some Vikings, Phoenicians, Carthagenians, Spaniards, Germans, Venitians and Sicilians thrown in to add some spice. In his many travels Marco Polo never came to Malta and Genghis Khan had this to say: "Ah Marrtah! Bin Lei Chat Hai". Hitler vowed to destroy the island and sent the Italians to bomb the island in WWII. Fortunately we dont speak German now and we proudly carry the George Cross for bravery. They say that the last of the Romanhofs fled to Malta.
The Romans said of Malta: Melita, ceteris paribus, paradisum cum bellum qahbum est!
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