What is Marto?
1.
(n) similar to a deposit
He scrubbed and scrubbed, but the marto on the office sofa proved resistant to even industrial strength cleaning products.
2.
(n) A branding mark indicating that an individual has been
pre-selected as a victim for (often unwanted) advances. The mark is usually
displayed in the form of a numerical symbol eg 9.
"I really like that girl on the 4th floor." "I know what you mean but you're
too late. The poor girl's already been martoed"
3.
A person of ambiguous sexuality
That bloke's a right marto. Bangs on about women all the time but is far too well groomed for his own good. And runs like a girl.
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4.
Attraction to members of the opposite sex solely because they are already in a long-term, committed relationship.
"She's beautiful, sexy and funny, but since she's single she just doesn't have that Marto factor for me".
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5.
Variant of game of pool, where the 8-ball is sunk and replaced to score points.
"Does anyone want a game of Marto. Who wants a shot at the eight-ball first?"
6.
(v) To use ones partner as a kitchen cleaning implement
After he had martoed with her the counter top was clean and shiny
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7.
(n) office bike (applicable to either gender)
"That new girl on the fifth floor is a right marto. She had eight blokes at her last firm and most of them had girlfriends....."
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