What is Massachusetts Self-defense?

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Locking yourself in the bathroom and asking an intruder to please take what he wants and then leave your house.

Because people in Massachusetts are not allowed to defend their life, liberty, or property. This is based on the liberal notions that if we reason politely with criminals they will surely not harm us, and that defending ourselves lowers us to the level of the criminal. (Since liberals do not believe in levels of humanity, this is difficult to comprehend.)

Oh, goodness gracious, a Pachuco is breaking into our home! Everyone get into the bathroom! We're going to practice Massachusetts self-defense!
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