What is Massapequa?
1.
A relatively large Long Island town located nicely between Amityville and Seaford; Comprised of Massapequa, Massapequa Park, North Massapequa, and probably every other compass direction.
Massapequa is notoriously known for its vast population of Jews and Italians, as well as for its ambiguous school district. The wacky and wonderful District 23 is just marvelous at first glance, but only a true Massapequan knowns what really dwells within the depths of the shadows.
Citizens associate the LIRR tracks with the 'good' and 'bad' sides of this town - those who live South of the tracks are generally wealthy and can't be bothered with the poor kids who live North of the tracks. Of course, this is all quite stereotypical.
Where there's a mall, there's a huge pile of teenage girls flocking to it. Most of them are sluts. Sunrise Mall, one of the most repulsive malls in Long Island, is home to stores that only seem to appeal to a certain ethnic background. Of course, that doesn't bother most of Massapequa, being as the trend these days is to walk around pretending as though you are of a different race. Other social trends include emo-ism, preppy-ism, wiggerish-ism, and punky-ism.
If slutty girls, posers, crap malls, nasty stereotypes, unfaithful book-burning schools and houses that price $400,000 + are for you, then come on down to Massapequa!
Also see
P.S - The next time you wanna add a definition to Massapequa, click 'add definition,' not 're-define,' you turds - you totally wiped out my last attempt at defining this Hell hole =)
"Hey, Bernice! Did you just see that pregnant girl in Starbucks? She must've only been about 12 years old!"
"Why, yes I did, Hector. She must be one of those
Massapequa kids!"
or
"We live in
Massapequa , so it's okay to burn brand new textbooks for our students! The district ordered the wrong ones, anyway, and we can afford to lose the money. No returns necessary, but we're probably going to get auditted again."
2.
Massapequa School District:
Okay folks, Let's start off with the Elementary Schools..
Birch Lane: (aka Bitch Lane) Full of rich snobby nosey soccer moms that spend all their money on bake sales and girl scout cookies.
East Lake: (aka Beast Lake) Full of wannabe sluts that pretty much have never made out with someone of the opposite sex.
Lochart: (aka Lock Fart) Full of prude tight little girls that freak when they kiss their boyfriends.
Fairfield: (aka FagField/FairyField) Full of posers that wish we lived in Amityville.
Mckenna: (aka.. i dont have a nickname for this one sorry) Full of dumb blondes that dont know their shapes.
Unqua: (aka Punkqua) Probably the most annoying school (girl wise.)..fucking bitches
Junior High / High School:
Alfred J. Berner Middle School: Jesus Christ in heaven. Mothers, do not send your children here.. Unless theyre prude. Then, its all good. But other wise.. its catholic school for your children. This school is highly sexually active, alcoholically involved, and very into getting stoned. It amazes me how blind and retarded parents are when it comes to this school. The kids are fucking crazy. They have no respect for teachers, deans, coaches etc. Detentions are handed out more than homeworks. Theres rats and mice in the building..but hey its ok. Berner is located pretty much in Amityville, which is just fucking wonderful. Our Librarian got jumped outside the main building, Our dean is going out with the bitchiest english teacher there is, and the physical education teacher is a lesbian. All the assemblies they have are related with drugs, stds, and dress codes. Most of our teachers are fucking retarded senior citizens, and theres a fucking waiting list to get suspended. I can name a quite a few young ladies off the bat that have made out with more girls than guys. And beer is more of a best friend than a beverage.
Ames: Located next to Lochart. The School Sucks asshole and its fucking gay because its 9th grade only.
Massapequa High School: Fucked up little burned out fucks..but hey.. gotta love it.. i mean how can you not love huge orgy parties every other night and getting stoned during ur off periods.
And now, for the one and only Private Fucking School :
St. Rose Of Lima: Prude. Prude. Prude. Prude. Prude. Prude. Prude. Prude. Prude. Prude. Prude. Prude. Prude.. with some exceptions.
Oh, Look Mommy, a Slut!
Oh, Hunny, she must be from Massapequa.
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3.
every1 from massapequa is better than fdalers
Pequa just killed fdale
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4.
home of some of the best looking people in new york
wow massapequans are totally banging
5.
A big rich town where the
My daughter is on the Massapequa soccer team and she is the best ever!
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6.
Anyone from Massapequa is better than anyone from Farmingdale....Farmingdale is comprized of lil fucks who like to think they are better than us
Yo pequa juss anally raped Farmingdale in that Lax Game.
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7.
A large town set right in the middle of the south shore on Long Island. True Massapeqians know that south of Merrick Rd. is where it's at. Home of the infamous All American Burger where MHS kids get there daily fix. And of course we can't forget the beautiful waterfront homes and awesome private beaches. To sum it up: Massapequa, the OC of Long Island. The place where the beach scene meets the suburbs. A town that sets standards, a place that knows where it's at!
We are heading out to Long Island today, maybe do some tubing, tanning...u know Massapequa style.
