What is Matt Bauer?
1.
Brother of the popular character Jack Bauer from the series 24. Assumed dead, Matt Bauer is an assasin working for "Chapter", a U.S. "black-ops" program. Matt Bauer has killed 140 men, and he enjoyed every single kill. Matt prides himself on killing his targets in varying creative ways such as: using a pizza cutter to slash victims throat, focing subject to consume an entire bottle of Dave's Insanity Hot Sauce.
Unlike Jack Bauer's classic line" Damn, there's no time!",
Matt also has a signature line:"Damn, I'm hungry."
Agent A - Sir, Matt Bauer just killed 10 innocent people inside a McDonalds because they forgot to put ketchup in his bag.
Agent B - No ketchup? Those bastards!!!
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Random Words:
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A phrase that is another way of saying awesome, rad, cool, sweet, tight, etc. You do not use it in the middle of a sentence.
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The act of masturbatingat a speed so fast that the friction causes your penis to catch fire.
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