Maury Show

What is Maury Show?


1.

Daytime "talk" show hosted by TV personality Maury Povich. Topics are limited, but incredibly entertaining, specifically paternity tests. Only show topics ever done nowadays are-

1) - Paternity Tests

The best! See you are not the father

2) - Cheaters Revealing Secrets

If your significant other wanted to bring you on the Maury Show to reveal a "deep secret", what the hell do you think it is? Geez!

3) - Cheaters Denying Cheating

Maury: Lashawn, we asked you if you had sex with 40 women since you have been with Nykesha. You said 'no', the lie detector test determined that was a lie, it was actually 125.

Nykesha: You done! Dat's it! You out! Get out my house!

Lashawn: Dat test iz wrong! I ain't nevah cheated!

4) - Fat Babies

Jenny: My son is 2 years old and weighs 115 lbs. I feed him Snickers, Ho-ho's, steak, chicken, whatever he wants! He's my child and I'ma raise him!

5) - I Used to Be Ugly...

Maury: Joe, do you remember Cecila?

Joe: Yeah, she was the ugliest girl in school

Maury: Well, she's changed alot since then, look at her now!

*Cecila, tummy tuck, boob job, 2000 lbs. of makeup and all comes out and dances seductively for the crowd

Cecila: I'm hot and sexy now though the miracles of 40 plastic surgeries!

6) - My 10 year old is out of control!

Mom: Maury, you have to help my daughter!

Daughter: I'm only 10 years old and I do what I want. I swear, drink, and steal. I even kicked my mom in the head once! Nobody tells me what to do!

Mom: *sobs*

Crowd: Boooooo!

Daughter: Whateva! Whateva! Y'all don' know me! Y'all don' know me!

Maury: Guess what? You're going to boot camp!

Crowd: Yayyyyy!

Big Black Guy (to daughter): Sit down! Shut up! Apologize to your mother now! Shut your mouth! *yell, yell yell*

Daughter (2 days later): I'm so sorry Mom *sob* *sob*, I love you!!

The Maury Show is a guilty pleasure.

2.

on the show...

big dawg: that baby dont look nothing like me.

myesha: he yours, u're the only guy i'ev slept with.

maury: big dawg, you are NOT the father

big dawg: dumb ass bitch! what did i tell you. you need to keep your legs closed, biatch. i'm outta here.

myesha: (sob) (sob)

maury: dont cry myesha. i know you've slept with so many men. i would help you find the father. who's next on your "men i've slept with" list?

myesha: #43. jamal, but i think he's in jail. (sob)

maury: dont worry myesha, i would get him on the show.

I watch the maury show anytime i wanna feel like a retard.

See pimpsville

3.

A daytime talk show in which individuals, couples and families air their personal problems to a national audience in a typically entertaining fashion. Various topics and issues explored include paternity testing, cheating spouses and lovers, and out of control children.

On a typical paternity episode:

'Maury, I ain't 100, I a 1000 percent sure he my baby daddy!'

'Do you think he looks like your son?'

'Sure, look at the lips, look at the nose, he's her daddy!'

'Let's bring out Sharnel!'

(Boooo)

"She a ho, she a ho, I ain't Laronda's baby daddy, she a ho!"

There is very little deviation in the dialogue from episode to episode.

Maury Show is one of the most entertaining programs ever created.

See ho, maury, gangsta, nigga, wigga

4.

A show full of people with many problems. Usually involves people cheating on other people or prostitutes. Also has lots of cussing & sometimes even gay couples.

Maury: Let's bring Tanaya on to the show!

Tanaya's Mother: &&#@&^*@@^%$@^@*$##^%!@&#*#@#^@@^@*#

Therefore, the Maury Show is basically a place for trash.

See maury show, trash, fat people, plastic surgery, cheaters, gay


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