What is Melch?
1.
a) "To Melch"- verb
A treat of a sexual practice amongst necrophiliacs the world over. A male and an accomplice must find a girl of childbearing age who has been dead for ideally five to seven days and has not been stored in refrigeration.
Male "A" presses his open mouth up against the vagina of the dead lady, whilst male "B" jumps onto her stomach, slamming his feet down. This will displace the decomposing contents of her uterus, sending it rocketing forth, down the vaginal canal and into the mouth of male A, whose objective is to catch and swallow as much as possible.
b)"Melch", noun.
The week old, rotting lining of a woman's uterus following death. A sloppy substance, reddish brown in colour, with plenty of chewable lumps.
The verb form- "Rob and I were feeling slightly hungry, so Rob retrieved the carcass he'd been safely storing under his bed, and we melched her dry."
The noun form- "I was feeling a little peckish after my Dungeons and Dragons marathon, so I fetched a luncbox full of melch that I'd been saving by the radiator, and tucked in."
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2.
verb: to fuck something up horribly, in an embarrassing and humiliating way
He scratched on an easy 8-ball shot, and melched the whole game.
Please, try not to melch it up.
When throwing the volcano bag, try not to throw too short or you will melch.
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3.
A melch is someone who tells jokes, sometimes said jokes are dirty. It is derived from my name(chelsea) and menstrual-enstrual-anian. I have no idea what that means, but it is part of melch. I also think it could mean someone who talks too much.
You are such a melch.
Stop being such a melch and shut up.
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4.
Suck ejaculated semen from the vagina - see Felching
I melched your minge of all the spunk
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5.
A person, male or female, that resembles a slug. Usually a little bit large, with glasses that looks like a slug. You may notice that they dont often pull, and leave a gooey trail in the wake of their sucker foot.
"that kid is a flipping melch!"
"Check out that meiclh!!"
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6.
A person with the facial expressions of a slug.
Look at that melch. Melch at 12 ocklock
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