What is Memory Crank?
1.
Verb. A traditional form of masturbation, dating back to ancient times, where one channels his or her memory of a previously successful and pleasurable sexual encounter. Due to the rampant increase in availability of pornography via magazines, movies and the worldwide web, the number of recorded memory cranks per year has dropped by over 86%, although it still flourishes in many third-world countries and the southern United States where access to said improvements in pornographic materials currently remains limited.
"I was in the shower the other day and for whatever reason, I started thinking about that girl Sally I boinked in the shower back in college. Next thing I know, I'm sportin' a chubby and decide to give myself a good, old-fashioned memory crank."
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