Mental Masturbation

What is Mental Masturbation?


1.

Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose.

We debated and created a perfect system of government, but it was all just mental masturbation, really.

See Ryan

2.

The act of engaging in useless yet intellectually stimulating conversation, usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.

Guy 1: "If only I had taken Cindy to my high school prom, I could have fucked her instead of that loser Jeff and then now she would be my girlfriend."

Guy 2: "Dude, stop that mental masturbation right now and go out and meet a new girl!"

3.

the act of engaging in intelligent and interesting conversation purely for the enjoyment of your own greatness and individuality. Subjects range from obscure lp's to cultural movements in preindustrial societies. Either delivered through grand monlogues or subtle conversation orientation, it links large words and random references resulting in nothing acually being communicated.

Though the influence of Ric Okasisk was quite evident within Weezer's blue album, rivers coumo domination of the lyrical form seem quite evident in Pinkerton

4.

Overly intensive self gratifying procrastination, thought and contemplation for a subject not necessarily warranting such effort.

"Let's quit the mental masturbation here, its a waste of time..."

See thought, contemplation, intellectual, waste, time

5.

To perform some activity, typically IT related, where performing the activity gives the performer almost sexual pleasure while doing it, yet nothing of any value or lasting value is produced. Mental masturbation is reasonably acceptable in the privacy of the performer's home, but not on their employer's time. Mental masturbation may be the reason for overly complicated and hard to understand solutions being implemented in one company, despite simpler and more commonly understood solutions being used at a number of other companies in the same industry.

To workmate, on Monday morning, "Guess what I did over the weekend! I rewrote Linux in FORTAN! Cool huh!"

Workmate, unimpressed, "That sounds like mental masturbation to me."

See masturbation, mental, complex, unnecessary, brain, it

6.

1. In academics it is the practice of using faulty premises to draw a conclusion.

2. The pretense of superior knowledge or intelligence by claiming conjecture, theory, feeling or opinion as fact.

The facts used to describe the cause of Global warming is an exercise in mental masturbation.

See mental, masturbation, mislead

7.

The act of engaging in impractical/nonproductive mental exercise / thinkings / writings / etc., through which a practitioner only comforts oneself mentally. Such acts don't lead to any constructive results what so ever in the real world; some might even imagine oneself being transformed into superman, or simply the opposite sex, etc.

In short, it's just bs/crap.

Example1:

Guy1: My boyfriend went abroad so I can take over all his stuff and start anew.

Guy2: Dude, you're the same person all along; stop that mental masturbation and get the hell out of my sight.

Example2:

Guy1: I think biological evolution is bull, but mankind can evolve to become God.

Guy2: Dude, you're all fucked up; you can go on with your mental masturbation, but stop bordering me anymore.

See crap, bullshit, mindwank, nonsense, imagination


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