What is Merkel?
1.
Verb. To perform an unsolicited shoulder massage.
While Angela was seated at the table, George snuck up and merkeled her.
See
2.
To perform cunnilingus on a women whilst she defecates.
Upon returning from the optometrist, Lydia excused herself to the restroom to make a movement. George, feeling giddy, joined her in the bathroom, got down on all fours, and gave her the merkeling of a lifetime.
See
3.
to take something that does not belong to you
While walking down the street early Sunday morning Anthony decided to merkel the newspaper from his neighbor's lawn.
See