What is Midget Pirates?
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A fearsome group of miniature men, known for gutting many and leaving few alive. They were last seen heading for the Sandwich Isles to pillage the giant ham farm, although some say Captain Hampton beat them to it.
It was horrible! They were everywhere! And unlike normal midgets - who are usually bright, and clever, and fun to be around - these midget pirates, with their beady little eyes and sharp teeth, bore down on us like fierce sharks in a feeding frenzy of blood. Slashing at us with their swords, gutting our bellies, poking our bums, clipping our knees.
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