What is Milfturbate?
1.
Verb. To stimulate the genitals whilst thinking of imagery of mature women. Strictly forbidden under Catholic doctrine.
Sinner: "Bless me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "Confess your sins my son and let the Lord see into your soul."
Sinner: "My mom had some of her friends round for a Women's Institute meeting and I was serving them tea and cakes. Later that night I indulged myself with a furious session of milfturbation in the bathroom thinking of them in their flouncy blouses."
Priest: "Wicked boy! Say three hundred Hail Marys and scrub your hands with bleach and steel wool!"
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What you'll hear because
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