Milfturbate

What is Milfturbate?

1.

Verb. To stimulate the genitals whilst thinking of imagery of mature women. Strictly forbidden under Catholic doctrine.

Sinner: "Bless me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "Confess your sins my son and let the Lord see into your soul."

Sinner: "My mom had some of her friends round for a Women's Institute meeting and I was serving them tea and cakes. Later that night I indulged myself with a furious session of milfturbation in the bathroom thinking of them in their flouncy blouses."

Priest: "Wicked boy! Say three hundred Hail Marys and scrub your hands with bleach and steel wool!"

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