Random Words:
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Accidentally sticking your fist up your arse while searching for your favourite sponge in an overly bubbled bath.
I had to throw my bat.. 
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"Nachos" made by putting tortilla chips on a cookie sheet, covering them with grated cheese and sliding them into the oven.
E.. 
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Half past get the f*ck outta here.
That time of day when you wish you were already somewhere else drinking a beer and playing golf.  We..