Monticello

What is Monticello?


1.

(also refered to as "the ghetto", montighetto, monti)

Urban center of rural Sullivan County NY. Home of Jerry the Bum, who is our homeless wandering mascot, and the famous Blue Ho, officially known as the Blue Horizon Diner. Natives of Monticello know that the only day to efficiently navigate the entrails of the city from Memorial Day until Labor Day is Saturday, because there is an over-population of minivan driving Orthodox Jews who migrate from NYC every year. The main source of entertainment among the youth is to congregate at the 24 hour Wal-Mart or enjoy the herbal entertainment from the local dealer.

Monticello is also home to the smell of the Sullivan County landfill, which can be incredibly putrid on a hot day.

Monticello provides the optimum learning environment for the young aspiring thug who just isn't ready for the bad streets of NYC.

2.

Monticello is a town in the Catskill Mountain Region of Upstate New York. It is known as the urban center of a rural area. It is hoem to Sullivan County Jail, Sullivan County Court, and Monticello High School. MHS is known for it's gang problem, as well as several violent incidents in the past couple of years.

There are several crime ridden neighborhoods mostly populated by African Americans and Hispanics, which include Evergreen Housing, and Shaker Heights. They are home to several street gangs including the BG's and L.O.S. (which I have written articles on here at Urban Dictionary)

"Don't go to Monticello, because there is nothing but crime and depression in the town."

See new york, upstate new york, towns

3.

Home for people on welfar and crack heads. This town is so boring I would rather go cow tipping with a jew. No wonder young girls get pregnet and drugs are being used by so many people.Creating more and more crack heads.. This town is so sad.. I thought it had a chance when the casino opened...WRONG!!! all it did was make low income families even more broke... and let's face it people there are no jobs in monticello, noone can live on 8 or 9 dollars and hr..thats joke money... now as far as gangster... OOOOPPSS I mean wangsters in monticello.... please what a laugh if anything i'm glad that these kids at least want to be together and entertain themselves with stupid code name and gang signs in the air .. what do you expect in a ghost town like that..THESE WANGSTERS HAVE TO MAKE SOME KIND OF DRAMA CAUSE THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO DO... IF I WAS TO MAKE CHANGES IN MONTICELLO THE FIRST THING I WOULD DO IS ASK JERRY THE HOMELESS GUY...( OK MAN WHERE ARE YOUR MILLIONS SO I CAN BUILD AN AMUSEMENT PARK AND THE SECOND PLAYBOY MANTION NEXT TO IT... OH YEAH AND LET ME NOT FOR GET TO BUILD A SUBWAY SYSTEM... CAUSE I'M TIRED OF SEEING U WALKING!!) Oh by the way which reminds me they deffenetly need more resturants and a mall.. cause Walmart is getting played out.. well my fellow readers I leave you with this thought...MOVE OUT OF THIS TOWN!! Shout outs to Shaker Heights... I'm out!!

monticello will never have a reason for people wanting to go there.

See boring, sad, creepy

4.

A small backwoods town in Jawjah, mainly populated by rednecks and white trash.

Language:

Redneck, English, Ebonics, Spanish

Currency:

U.S. Dollars, children, deer antlers

Population:

12,000 (and breeding)

Arts and Entertainment:

Deer hunting, child molestation, prostitution, wife beating, primal drunken arguments, ignorance, and NASCAR*

(* The popularity of the last may be due to the short attention span required; all left turns, and sometimes cars blow up.)

Main imports:

Beer, prostitutes, modular housing, pickup trucks

Main exports:

Marijuana, other assorted drugs, deer, babies

What the hell is wrong with people in Monticello?

5.

Small town in southern Kentucky situated on Lake Cumberland. Unless you were born here, you are NOT from here. You could live here for 50 years and still be an outsider.

If you are not from here and decide to visit, heed this word of advise..."do not leave the paved road!"

Middle of nowhere where roads were built to let the people out.

Local: "Use ain't from round these parts, is use?"

Outsider: "I seem to be lost"

Local: chkk-chkk"Use bedder git ta goin"

Outsider: "Can you..."

POW (sound of gunfire)

An outsider was going through Monticello to Lake Cumberland when he made a wrong turn toward Bugwood and nobody ever saw him again. Reckon he didn't listen.

Primary language spoken is Hillbilly. An interpreter may be needed for outsiders.

See nowhere, metropolis, hillbilly, kentucky, redneck, appalachia

6.

adj- sux ass; really really gay; easy place to pick up ho's and way to much damn drama

Brian tried to pick up the ho in monticello but ended up being a strange looking guy. Brian was very satisified

7.

smallest piss ant town in World

Tends to suck great ass

Nothing here

Dead Town

Boring

aka HELL

Brian Anderson drove his truck through monticello and came out one gay ass queer motherfucker.


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