What is Mormon Fries?
1.
When a person of Mormon faith is taking a shit, and the shit pieces fall in a manner that makes this person believe their feces is the one true prophet, heir to Brigham Young and Joseph Smith, leader of men and receiver of revelation. The Mormon then takes the shit pieces from the toilet and studies them in a special baseball cap made of yak pubes, and quotes the text from the shit pieces to another who writes them down on legal note pads. The shit pieces are then named, and saved in sweet pickle jars under the bed.
The other day I took a shit, and found the lost books of Moroni!
For reals?
Hell yes, for reals! And you know what else?
What?
Goddamn if my shit didn't tell me I'm Joseph's third cousin on his fourth wife's side?
Yo! you had some Mormon fries!
Tell me about it! And I'm a Catholic!
Sum-bitch!
Damn!
Yep, yep!
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