What is Mugwump?
1.
A political fence-sitter, who won't come down on either side of the fence and tries to have things both ways. Originally an Algonquin Indian word; used in American politics for more than a century.
He was a mugwump about supporting the Iraq war. He had his mug on one side of that issue, and his wump on the other.
2.
'''Mugwumpology'''
''The History of Mugwumpland''
The continent/country currently known as Mugwumpland has an interesting History. It is believed it went like this;
When God was creating the Hawaiian islands, he was just about to finish one of the volcanoes when, while all the lava was bubbling up towards the top, he sneezed. This sent a massive quantity of holy snot and lava flying into the ocean just South-East of Japan. This immediately began to form a continent almost as large as the state of Texas. God thought for a moment and then said, "What the hell" and snapped his fingers thus populating the island with the first Mugwumps.
''The Creation of AIDS and Tourettes Syndrome and Their Connection to Mugwumpland''
During World War 2, the first time the Americans attempted to bomb Japan, one of the less experienced Pilots missed and accidentally bombed Mugwumpland. The resulting waves of radiation, strangely enough, didn't immediately kill many Mugwumps. Instead it infected them with the deadly Sexually Transmitted Disease known as The AIDS. Also, oddly, in the later generations of Mugwumps, it doesn't always kill them, the virus just uses them as a host so that it can spread. Due to their extreme anger from being bombed and infected with AIDS, the Mugwumps also developed the overwhelming and uncontrollable anger disease known as Tourettes Syndrome. For more information about Tourettes Syndrome visit tourettesguy.
''The Economy of Mugwumpland''
Although not as economically advanced as The US, Great Britain, China, or even Saudi Arabia, the residents of Mugwumpland have become rich by selling their giant booger slugs and snails(some of the only native animals of Mugwumpland, they are about 8ft long and a sickly green color) to France as escargots.
''Miscellaneous Mugwump Facts''
The belief that AIDS originated in a tribe of monkeys in Africa is a common misconception. This rumor has spread due to the sick monkey raping perversion common in Mugwump culture.
The Mugwumps were almost wiped out in the secret World War 2.5 when every country that hated them tried to destroy the race and halt the spread of AIDS. They obviously failed.
Another interesting fact is that the Mugwumps do not have livers. The archives in the capitol of Mugwumpland, Kublakhan, state that they were stolen by the first Australians. whether or not this is true, I cannot say.
Also, Mugwumps have a hard tim seeing in the day light, but they can see extremely well in the dark, even if it is pitch black. The reason for this is also unkown.
''Mugwump Americans''
Mugwumps don't generally make their presence know, so I cannot say how many countless Mugwump families are out there.
"Whoa, Ted just blew up on me randomly!"
"Uh oh, maybe he's a mugwump!"
See
3.
An ordinary or unappealingly looking woman (or man in some cases if he is short -- see
She is a very nice girl but I can't date her because she's a mugwump.
See
4.
Funkiest band in New York, known to get deep down in that ass and funk it out. Also known to be personified by a small gnome/troll/wizard like dude who just wants to chill and get funky. The Mugwump.
Goin to see Mugwump tonight? Grab your hat and your monkey, cuz its time for SooooulFunky
5.
One who is sexually Ambivalent, having equal attraction to both male and female sexual parners.
'Let me introduce you to someone who specialises in sexual ambivalence. He is mugwump.'
- From the movie Naked Lunch by David Cronenberg 1991.
