Name Wins!

What is Name Wins!?


1.

An expression of pure (and often surprising) triumph in the face of irritable and formerly formiddable opposition, especially from inanimate objects, concepts, or unpleasant circumstances. The speaker is meant to use their own name, aptly announcing their success to the world around them in a nonbiased way.

"(name) wins!" applies in a variety of circumstances:

(kelly struggles over astrophysics, aggressively punching numbers into calculators. hours pass and equations dance tauntingly in her head. kelly finally finishes problems with a flourish of the pencil): kelly wins!

(amanda sees bottle of patron on impossibly high shelf. books, people and other pieces of furniture are employed in attempt to reach this last remaining liquor. bottle successfully knocked into outstretched hands): amanda wins!

(nicola loses cell phone for days. room and house are torn to bits causing mess on national-disaster scale. cellphone is eventually located at bottom of stinky hamper): nicola wins!!

(jana spends hours convincing the french to let her into their country. paperwork and red tape abounds from the country that invented bureaucracy. a visa is at last obtained): jana wins!!!

See score, hurrah, fuck


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