What is Navikwanzaka?
1.
n. Holiday event which celebrates the longstanding traditions of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa. Festivities include Karoake, caroling, drinking adult beverages from sacred ice shot glasses, and games of chance. Gifts are forbidden unless won through successful gambling ventures, or by sheer force. Wrestling, Football, or Mixed Martial Arts are optional but encouraged as part of the total Navikwanzaka experience. Lamenting past broken romantic relationships, calling ex-spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends, and inquiring as to the nature of the caller's inadequacies is usually part of the great Navikwanzaka tradition.
Nehemiah: "Hey Jebediah, Where is Navikwanzaka being held at this year?"
Jebediah: "Two furlongs past the old mill, at the Pilsner's brewery."
(1843 Excerpt from the earliest known writings describing the first Navikwanzaka... The first event, allegedly was a barn-burner, but no one other than several small farm animals was injured in the celebration.)
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