Ncssm

What is Ncssm?


1.

NCSSM is an imaginary place in North Carolina. It is imaginary in the sense that the administration swears it is the holy grail of high school academia, it changes lives, and everyone who attends that school should be a perfect mindless brain-slave. In reality, only one of these is true: it changes lives or more precisiously, it eats souls. NCSSM is really haunted by an ancient spirit, a demonic doctor from the days when it was Watts Hospital. His name is Dr. Felonious. This doctor stalks from room to room at night cutting out your feelings and soul until by the time two years are up (if you make it that far) all you can do is work and agree with whatever people tell you to do. Unfortunately, the adminsitration is subsidizing Dr. Felonious; for every student he destroys, his cost of living is decreased. Your only hope is to rise up and fight the beast through revolution. However, you risk being given a "Level III". This is an opportunity for the administration to describe what a horrible person you are to your face and sentence you to immediate execution for, say, doing something normal kids do. Experiencing normal life or growing up is against the law at NCSSM, and the quest for normalcy is known as "The Struggle" by those at NCSSM. Certain students choose to follow the struggle by protesting, each in their own way. Some students take "Master Keys" and explore the 9 levels of Hell present in the premises. Others can be seen carrying wooden stakes wherever they go to stab the Doctor if they see him. If you don't have the guts to fight Dr. Felonious directly or protest the administration, common rememdies or protections include: keeping garlic under you pillow, never showering or washing clothes, not wearing shoes, speaking in tongues all the time, and never leaving your room. Regardless, if you go to NCSSM, you have a 99% chance of being destroyed and burnt out by the time you go to college. Your only hope is the a hippie convent somewhere will accept you or that you become Pope. Whatever.

I used to be a person, but I went to NCSSM.

Remember that time NCSSM was awesome? Me neither.

"Why can't a feel feelings?"

"Been to NCSSM lately?"

"Yeah."

"You're fucked."

See hell, the struggle

2.

Never Ceasing School of Sadism and Masochism

"What school do you go to?"

"I attend NCSSM."

3.

1. North Carolina School of Science and Math; Hell

2. A place for immature losers to hook up with and have relationships with people way out of their league

3. A school which will ruin your life if you attend it and have any type of social prowess; you may even get a reputation as a grenadierwhen you go home because of lowered standards

That meeting was boring and hot as hell. It was like NCSSM. Oh wait nothing could be that bad.

"Jesus, how did that girl ever get with that guy."

"They are both grads of NCSSM c/o '05. He must've been desperate. Poor guy."

Man, ever since Bob went to NCSSM he jumps on every grenadefor us. He better get his shit together before he goes to college.


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