What is Near Beer?
1.
n. Non-alcoholic beer.
Near beer is the worst of both worlds: all the shitty taste of beer, and none of the fun!
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2.
Beer with less than 0.5% alcohol content, therefore making it "non-alcoholic."
Everyone was planning to get hammered at the party, but were disappointed when all they got was near beer.
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3.
Noun: London police slang for a crummy dive in which unwitting male tourists are promised a good time with a hot babe. They must order a drink from these unlicenced premises but get charged hundreds of pounds for a soft drink. Victims are often frog-marched to cash machines by heavies. Needless to say, the babe doesn't provide any action, just sits there.
Drink your tea, were going to bust a near beer in Brewer Street.
OK, Shall I grab a Transit van and 2 Serbo-Croat translators?
The Kinks classic 'Lola' is set in a near-beer.
I Met her in a club down in old Soho
Where they drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola...
...Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Lola.