What is New Abraham?
1.
A philosophy that emphasizes the continual reinvention of the individual in a hostile or indifferent universe, in hopes that inner peace will finally be obtained, and stresses freedom of responsibility for the consequences of one's acts. This philosophy is said to have originated near Denver in the early 21st century. Although followers of this philosophy earnestly try to better themselves, their lives and behaviors often become the punchline of office jokes.
Man, that's not me anymore. I didn't touch those cabinets. This is the New Abraham.