What is Noel?
1.
Noel means
It is also my middle name.
My middle name Noel means Christmas
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2.
A "Noel" is a seemingly odd person on the outside. She tends to fart and burp, but is immune to drooling when asleep. However, a "Noel" has the characterstics of a Lion, or in spanish, "LEON" (yes that is NOEL spelled backwards). For example, when she is asleep, she may growl like a leon and then pounce on a innocent bystander completely unconscious.
Despite this seemgingly irate behavior, a "Noel" is like a marshmallow on the inside. No... that does not mean she is full of sugary goodness nor does it mean she is part "smore", but rather, the metaphor describes her as a soft, kind, caring person. LIKE THE MICHELIN TIRE MAN (who actually does seem to be made of marshmallows... fancy that).
There is also a phenomenon that is present in a "Noel". A "Noel" will typically make her own belongings vanish. Scientists are unsure of why or how certain belongings get lost, but empirical evidence has shown that a Noel will lose any one item at least once a month. This phenomenon has stymied researchers at Harvard and Yale, and the National Science Society is planning to make a new branch of science called, "Noelology".
A "Noel" has often been used to describe something sublimely awesome.
As a noun... "That girl is such a NOEL!"
In the present-progressive tense (Noellin' instead of Ballin')... "Dude, that's so noellin'"
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3.
This is a name used to denote children that are exceptionally loud and stupid. The individual with this name will invariably try to use logic on people and will also invariably fail to make any sense at all. Contemplation of this individual's logic (or, rather, this individual's lack of logic) will often cause aneurysms, manifesting either in a nosebleed or, in many cases, an exploded head.
This individual also often thinks that they are "God's gift to humanity," hence the name "Noel," which alludes to Christmas, a major religious holiday primarily observed through phony piety and the giving of gifts.
The person named "Noel" will also think that it (used aptly, here) is so-called "hot stuff" and will assume that everyone (male, female, transgendered, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and pansexual) wants a "piece of that ass." It is, obviously mistaken.
If a Noel is spotted, the best advice that can be given is to plug one's ears and then run away as quickly as possible before it can open its mouth and start talking. Its voice has properties very akin to those of the mythological mandrake plant. Do not be deceived, however, by this comparison. The Noel is an active, virulent lifeform able to leech life out of individuals through speech. Prolonged exposure can result in (aside from aneurysms) an individual or group of individuals brain or brains, respectively, leaking out of his/her/their ears.
Avoid the Noel at all costs. Do not offer a Noel a cookie. Do not sleep with the Noel. If impregnated, she becomes nearly impossible to get rid of while still alive.
The Noel is classified as living. If you are approached by one and do not immediately leave the area, you will not longer be similarly classifiable.
"Noel, after becoming impregnated and delivering her spawn, became a permanent addition to the household. Within six months, all other members of said household were insane and dying."
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4.
to act as a Noel is to act as though one knows everything regardless of ones own limited powers of comprehension. Often considered by his or her acquaintances to be arrogant, selfish and egoistic. Usually the said acquaintances are no different and in an attempt to disguise their own social deficiencies refer to this syndrom simply as noel.
Noel has invited us for dinner tonight dear, what shall I wear ?
Preferably a fresh pair of Y fronts and a dickie bow. After we arrive I don't want to hear any Noel or, I swear to God, I'll spill the beans on your plodrodgering !
You can spill the beans on what you like my dearest. Noel has his own experiences when it comes to plodrodgering. You'll simply bore him as you always do.
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