What is Northvale?
1.
The one town in all of The Valley (7 towns in Bergen County, New Jersey: Northvale, Norwood, Harrington Park, Old Tappan, Closter, Demarest, and Haworth) that isn't filthy stinking rich. Called "the ghetto" of the valley (though it is far from a ghetto), the northvale public school system boasts history text books that still refer to Vietnam as "Trouble Ahead".
Northvale is typically the home of all the pot dealers in the Valley, who are constantly plagued by the NVPD, aka Officer Essman. Legendary among the dealers is the infamous Pouyan, Essman's sworn enemy. Pouyan disappeared in the fall of 2005 and is thought to be attending college against all odds.
You know you're from Northvale if you think Paris is just a street, you take pride in your street lights, and you've been pulled over by more than 3 different cops in the same night.
Oh, shit, we're driving through Northvale man, put the joint down!
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2.
it is the coolest town on the face of the earth. although we suck at everything we are all friends and where ever you go you will always run into someone you know because northvale is onky a square mile. some people say that the new strip mall was a waste of money but i think that it was one of the best things that ever happened to this nice messed up town. we cant afford anything but the people that live here are the best and we all go to old tappan cause we are so kool and we have nothing better to do.
northvale is the best town, is what you will hear on the streets
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3.
it is by far the strangest town in the universe. people there were given toxic water as babies and it has produced the largest colony of mutants ever seen in bergen county. avoid northvalians at all cost...
northvalian: i'm from northvale
other "normal" person: shit man RUNNNNN!
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