What is Numpty Diver?
1.
A SCUBA diver, usually of Open Water equivalent, or less, certification. They leave their fuckin' gear strewn from one end of the charter boat to the other, enter the water without their mask, air off, still holding their fins, kick the shit out of the coral and anything else nearby, exhibit no bouyancy control, frantically signal OOA after 5 minutes, and generally gob off like they know everything.
"This is gonna be a tech diving trip. I got no time for fuckin' Numpty Divers..."
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grillin' and relaxin'
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noun: a penis that is severely infected with any number of venereal diseases (mostly the worst ones out there like syphillis, clamidia, ..