What is Oakville?
1.
Everyone who lives here refers to Oakville as a bubble, but in reality, they're all just in denial that they make up this so called bubble. Most of the girls here are obsessed with the OC, and Abercrombie and Fitch. The boys are obsessed with poker, and pretending that they don't watch the OC.
Oakville kid: "Mommy! I spilt my starbucks coffee in the lexus."
Mother: "Than take the other other Lexus."
2.
Oakville is a great suburban community located on Lake Ontario. Many people look at Oakville with extreme jealousy, for example, citizens of the crappy little town of Mississauga. Mississaugians think Oakville is perfect and would love to live there, but are too jealous to realize it. People like these jealous Mississaugians have no lives, and spend their days trying to insult Oakvillians on slangdefine, while Oakvillians are our having fun in the town. It is true that Oakville is one of the richest towns in the world, because many businessmen who work in Toronto are located in Oakville, and also because of the Ford plant, which is a huge source for jobs. Because of this, Oakvillians make much more money than other Canadians because they work hard.
Anyone who agrees with this article will give it a thumbs up. And anyone who gives it a thumbs down is admitting they are a very jealous person and in fact wish they lived in Oakville themselves.
Mississauga Kid 1: Dam, I wishez I lved in Oakvlle. Theyz lyk so cool ands uch.
Mississauga Kid 2: Ya me 2 man, they gotz lyk nic ecars and ar better thanu s.
Oakville Kid: Dudes, Learn to fucking spell, then get a job and earn some money.
See
3.
Top 30 reasons You know you're from
1. You have drunken stories about drinking in a park
2. You think it should be called Jokeville, or Tokeville or Cokeville
3. You will hang out til 4am at any place that is open 24 hours: Subway, Coffee Time, Tim Horton's, 7-11, or if nothing's open, pretty much anywhere in Bronte
3. Almost all of your friends, at one point or another, have worked at McDonalds, Wendy's or Tim Horton's
4. You can find people you went to school with at Sharkeys every Friday, or Big Bucks every Tuesday
5. You have to pass at least six Tim Horton's just to get to school
6. You never knew Oakville had a city hall
7. You constantly get stuck behind old people going 40 km down Lakeshore
8. You've met Donovan Bailey multiple times and you think he's a dickhead
9. You think there IS a difference between people depending on
whether they're from Glen Abbey, Iroquois, South East Oakville or Bronte
10. No matter how much it sucked, every summer you'd go to the Waterfront Festival
11. You ever had your photograph in the Oakville Beaver
12. You remember seeing cheap movies at Encore Cinema off Kerr or the Playhouse on Lakeshore
13. You remember when Trafalgar Village Mall actually had stores in it
14. You remember when hanging out at Oakville Place was cool
15. You have an image for every high school: QE Park - not so bright kids; Blakelock - dirty, dirty Blakelock; Appleby - snob central; OT and Iroquois - since when do schools look like malls?; St. Mildreds – sluts who steal all the good boys; Loyola, St.Thomas - nice fucking uniforms guys!; General Wolfe - dumb asses, White Oaks - who the fuck goes there?
16. You hung out at Maple Grove plaza or Oakville Town Center when you were in grade 9
17. Some of the funnest moments of your life are running from cops after a bush party through the ravines
18. 'Downtown' meant Starbucks, White Oak for the greasy spoon goodness, Whats the Scoop for desert or the Kings Arms for beers
19. Part of your Christmas ritual involves driving by the house where they filmed "The Santa Clause" with Tim Allen
20. You've ever bought pot from a Wendy's/Tim Horton's drive thru
21. You're perplexed as to why the Blockbuster Video/Coffee Time parking lot on Trafalgar is such a gino hotspot
22. You played hockey at Maple Grove Arena
23. You tried to find the Olsen twins in the summer
24. The people who live next door to you own either a BMW, a Mercedes or a Lexus (most likely one of each)
25. You have “slutted” people from your friend’s car along the Lakeshore
26. You have been drunk in Sobeys…. more than once.
27. To you the “ghetto” means Kerr Street
28. You used to go to Midnight Madness with your parents, now you go with your friends…drunk.
29. You’ve seen someone in grade school carrying a Louis Vuitton purse
and the ..1 give away that you're from
You've used the word '
Oakville kid 1: yo you going to shane's house party tonight or jessie's?
Oakville kid 2: i think i might just go to both
Oakville kid 1: you taken the benz?
Oakville kid 2: nah Im going in style....H2 stylee
See
4.
Oakville is an awesome town that houses some of the coolest and also richest people in Canada. I'm sorry to hear that everyone enjoys writing definitions that contain incredible jealousy. You really don't know oakville kids and you're simply jealous of their good fortune, therefore you act like complete ignorant fools and insult us. Maybe if you took time out of your "horrible lives" you could get to know us. Also, if it wasn't for the tax payers of Oakville I seriously doubt that you'd be receiving your welfare checks each month.
Mississauga kid: f***ing oakville kids live in a big bubble
Oakville kid: get a job you dirty binder and stop critisizing us because your jealous of our parent's money
Mississauga kid: yo dog you got beef, youz a hater
Oakville kid: learn how to talk or get out of my country, I'm ashamed I pay taxes to keep you in school
5.
A town in southern Ontario just outside of Toronto bordering Mississauga. One of the richest towns in Canada. The Oakville 'ghetto' is Kerr Street a street which is no whwere close to being low income.
The town consists of:
* wanna-be-think-they-are-hard-wigger white boys.
* Abercrombie/A & F white boy and girl all american wannabes.
* House parties every weekend
The most common word is
teacher: today is the last day of class and we have a one page essay to write
student: "THATS CHATE MISS"
oakvillian: "chate chate chate chate chate"
6.
See Oakville
Also known as jokeville, Cokeville, smokeville, tokeville, oaktown, o town, o dizzle, civ
YO BOI, we need to seriously hit up the oaktown
7.
One of the richest cities in Canada, and most of us are really goddamn naive. SOME kids are all like "Yo biatch I don't take no shit fom yoo!" I tell those kids to get a life. No one really fights in OAkville. OAkville is a Suburbian area. We don't own yachts. HELL, I DON'T EVEN GET ALLOWANCE! We get a better education, we don't use guns, almost no one get murdered.
Missasauga Kid: Hey rich boi, don't go steppin' in mah city!
Me (oakville kid): GO fuck your self, you ghetto scumbag.
Missasauga Kid: Don't be hatin!
Me (oakville kid): Actually, considering the fact that you are WHITE, I'm not "Hatin", also, I'm not rich.
See
