What is Oxford?
1.
A place infinitely more preferable than St.
"Oh, I'd rather be at Oxford than at Johns"
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2.
The finest institution of higher learning in the English-speaking world. Educator of philosophers, Kings, Presidents, and other eminent individuals. Also quite a lovely town, replete with beautiful scenery and impressive architecture.
Often derided by a tribe of ill-mannered savages who "study" somewhere in the wilds of East Anglia.
Bloke 1: "I'll have you know, I study at Cambridge."
Bloke 2: "Brilliant! I'll mention you to my flatmates up at Oxford, we are looking for a new butler."
3.
Where I live.
Best features:
The Zodiac: Music Venue/Nightclub
Covered Market: Great for quirky
items/fresh food
Cowley Road where so many fantastic
shops sell (shisha)!
The comedic Big Issue sellers: "pink
tissue, buy your pink tissue here!"
Park End: "The easiest place to pull
on a saturday night"
The falafel hut next to the odeon! YUM!
Pheonix picture house: the cinema that
doesn't show all the usual
crap...and you can watch the
films all night!
Oxfam vinyl section: what can I say? The
people of Oxford have good music
taste.
That 50s-esque rock group that sometimes
play on the high street. Cool old
school mics and bouffant hair.
No 1. Winter pub:
Turf Tavern: best pub and the hardest to
find, but we like to keep it that way.
Roaring fires in the in the winter to
keep ya tootsies warm.
No 1. Summer pub:
The Hobgoblin: barbecues in the summer -
the perfect place to just chill with a
drink.
AND the NUMBER ONE reason for OXFORD being so cool:
Its the hometown of Radiohead and Thom Yorke
Oxford makes me happy. Notice I didn't mention the students?
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4.
A city in Oxfordshire: England. Famous for it's university, which is like quite old. Less famous for it's traffic jams and the general depression outsiders acquire having to listen to Oxford students blather on about how getting a degree is the only way you’ll get ahead in life.
Thank
fuck I only have to work in thisshithole of a place called Oxford!
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5.
english university full of meat-heads and a few actually clever students. the meat-heads (usually public schoolboys with more salmon-pink shirts than brain cells) like to think they're geniuses (not "genii", you conceited idiot) because they go to oxford, failing to realise that this is not much of an achievement in itself. it's what you do there that counts, twat.
"Tarquin's got into oxford to read history"
"oh, how fabulous for him. of course, paying thousands of pounds for his private education and then a whole lot more for private coaching and interview practice were nothing to do with this colossal achievement. he got in entirely on his own steam"
"but of course"
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6.
1. The oldest university in the English speaking world; point of highest achievement.
If you're at Oxford U, there's no further earthly thing you could possibly want. The pinnacle of top education, the most beautiful of architecture, the coolest tutors, the grand history... etc.
2. Among the most beautiful of cities in the world.
"After having no life for all my high school years, the mad working has paid off! I'm accepted into Oxford!"
"Rich genius bastard!"
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7.
A dress/casual long-sleeve shirt knit out of a durable, soft and thick heavyweight cotton. Also has convertible cuffs, and a button down collar. Seen on the polo players of old, and private school boys of today.
"Nice shirt, man! Looks sharp."
"Yup. It's an oxford"
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