What is Paddles?
1.
A place in the dark depths of Pembroke, Pembrokeshire where you can catch crabs and gonorrhea from just breathing. A nightclub in which you have to be 18 to enter, however paddling 14 year olds are subsequently let in for 'looking' 18 because the bouncers are ill-educated twats who need their glasses fixed. Once inside a rare sight will be seen, the inhabitants of Pembroke and Pembroke Dock (sometimes even Haverfordwest) all 'getting low' to Flo Rida in one big clan. It is the one place where married 40 year olds can go and pull a naive 14 year old and be no consequences.
girl1: I'm 14, and i go to paddles!
girl2: Me to, cause i'm from Monkton!
girl3: Same, i got there to get totally taken advantage of by some 40 year old man while i'm drunk after my 2 WKD's!
guy1: you paddling it this weekend?
guy2: no, i actually like the way my healthy dick looks!
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2.
A greek mythological figure, the most beautiful man ever to grace this Earth, legend has it he is 19 inches
Zeus: Trust me, I'm like 12 inches
Aphrodite: Pfff, you oughta see Paddles, He's a real man
Modern day: 'That guy's a Paddles!'
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