What is Pago?
1.
A greasy, fat, smelly robot that disguises itself as a common household Yorkshire terrier. It sneezes a lot, shows Its alligator teeth, walks around showing off Its talons, loves Puppers, never sleeps, only eats human food, never bathes, has a strange attraction towards Jen, hates Eric, runs fast, drove Java to insanity, loves smelly bones, growls whenever disturbed, and It cannot jump on the couch due to Its obesity. It likes carrots, peppers, pears, raisins, marshmallows, and oatmeal. It’s made up of 19% gak, 70% bacon fat, and 11% lasers. Pago, otherwise known as P.A.G.O. stands for Programmed Autobot Gigabyte Overdrive, but do not be fooled by the word “Autobot.” Pago is in fact a Decepticon. It downloads via satellite and it plans to one day rule all humans and is believed to have started the cult known as the Pagoists. Whenever Pago sneezes, a TXT MSG is sent out to a previously conformed Pagoist society. It’s only known companion is a girlish, fat yorkie named Mack.
WARNING: It has been seen trotting around in a leather jacket and sombrero trying to defecate. DO NOT BE FOOLED!
It responds to Pago, Wittle Wittle, Peppers, Mittens, and Mr. Jingles.
It can consume one marshmallow in 7.9 seconds. It’s a disturbing process.
One can tell the difference between Pago and a regular yorkie by examining the greasy fur and fat physique. Plus, Pago has a computer chip in the back of Its neck.
"Wow, did you see that Yorkshire terrier trotting around in a leather jacket and sombrero trying to defecate?"
"NOOOOO! That's no ordinary dog! That's Pago."
"Awww fuck! I fucking hate that piece of fucking shit!"
"Quick, run away before it sneezes on you!"
"Ahhhhhh! Holy Shit-Fuck!"
*sneezes made by Pago tilting Its head down and showing Its teeth*
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