Paranoid

What is Paranoid?


1.

The condition of believing you're being stalked/hunted/spied on by someone. These stalkers ALWAYS come into one of 4 categories:

1) The Corporation: e.g. Microsoft

2) The Government: e.g. The CIA

3) Independant Stalkers: e.g. Me

4) Aliens: e.g. erm.. Coneheads?

It can also mean that you think everyone in general is against you, or that your friends are talking about/plotting against you behind your back.

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get me!!"

2.

Descriptive Noun. Fourth part of a four-part sequence which explains all types of individuals.

An OPTIMIST is a person who doesn't have all the facts.

A PESSIMIST is an optimist who does have all the facts.

A CYNIC is a pessimist who has seen the facts in action.

A PARANOID is a cynic who has FINALLY realized that the facts are after him.

Petra the Paranoid is worried that her boyfriend, Peter the Priapic, is going to cheat on her. Oh, she's just crazy and irrational. The only other people who believe her nutty fear are the Nancy Nurse and Debbie Doctor, who have just finished the report which confirms that Petra has an STD.

See optimist, pessimist, cynic, infidelity, std

3.

1)Someone who believes they are being hunted, esp. by everyone.

2)A Black Sabbath album that kicks major ass.

3)A song on said Black Sabbath ablum that kicks major ass.

1)You're always paranoid when you're on acid.

2)I'm gonna listen to 'Paranoid'.

3)You always headbang during 'Paranoid' when you're on pot.

4.

An illogical fear or suspicion of people, companies or organizations being consciously against you, and the belief that they are constantly trying to "get" you.

"See those people talking over there? There's no other way than that they're spreading rumors about me."

"Oh stop being paranoid, they're just talking."

5.

The perpetual motion act of not knowing what the hell is going on around you and thinking that you do. Usually resulting in flushing of a perfectly good stash down the toilet to awaiting fish, and then getting busted the day you decide not too!

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that they are not after you.

See paranoid, knowing, dumbass, cop, detective, pot, drugs

6.

The perpetual motion act of not knowing what the hell is going on around you and thinking that you do. Usually resulting in flushing of a perfectly good stash down the toilet to awaiting fish, and then getting busted the day you decide not too!

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that they are not after you.

See paranoid, knowing, dumbass, cop, detective, pot, drugs

7.

It's what happens when you smoke too much of the green stuff.

What was that? there's someone there, what was that sound?*Fuck up you stupid paranoid cunt*


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