What is Parkanoia?
1.
That dread you feel when you can't find where you parked your car and you realize it may have been stolen (usually occuring soon before you find your car, but not so soon that those moments of pulse-quickening worry, which seem stretched to infinite length, haven't done their damage to your nerves and shortened your lifespan by about an hour).
What the--? I left it right here. Didn't I? Sure, I did, 'cuz it was near the...oh, wait, is that where I went in? It looks just like... Hell, they all look like--well, I'll check the upper level and, uh, no, not there. I'm sure I parked it right over by the--oh, no, now I know! It's the lower level. Yeah, 'cuz I had to take the stairs, and...um...wait, that's not right either. What the hell?! Oh, my god... Omigod, omigod, omigod, my car has been STOLEN! It's finally happened to me!! Why does everything have to happen to me!!! Jesu--oh, there it is. Whew. Heh. Ha, ha! Parkanoia!
