What is Pascoevich?
1.
A philanthropist of cultural diversity with an avid fascination for russian literature, music and porn.... and not necessarily in that order.
Said to have originally inhabited mountainous regions near Germany and renowned for inventing the first known vintage of 'gestalt' being the originator of cask wine as it is known and loved by the poor of today...
A wondering nomad not content with domesticity - a 'Pascoevich' is said to be one with a constant need for adventure and in some instances.... chilli.
A tribal warrior, a cultural voyeur, a diplomat.....
There have been many instances in which unsuspecting people armed with a name or derivative of Pascoevich have been known to be subject to random bouts of multiple personality disorder. The communal link in all these instances is that these people were all either located attempting to hitchhike to the nearest airport or in close proximity to a public toilet - which they defended with tenacity claiming native title in some instances.
An inhabitor of the inhabitable.....
Somwehere on the slopes of the Himalayas........ before 'Nam'....
Gen Griggs: where's that f*(&^'ing Pascoevich gone off to??
Sarg: he wouldn't stop yesterday General... said something about Chilli.... and then went all hyper...
Gen. Griggs: f)**^)ing Pascoevich!! Honestly we'll have to tie him up somewhere....
meanwhile somewhere in Nepal...
Unsuspecting Virginal maiden collecting water for her mother, father and 18 siblings.....: ummm the water looks sooo clean today... maybe i'll skinny dip...
Pascoevich (from behind a leafy banana plant): (quietly) hehe.... ummmmm lunch...
Unsuspecting Virgin: i thought i heard a sound...
Pascoevich: ... hellooooo little lady.... ummm mmm ummm.
Unsuspecting Virgin: get back you brute, or i will throw chilli powder in your eyes...
Pascoevich: i mean you know harm little lady... but its been a long war... and a brother needs a little if you get my drift.... show me some... go on baby.... show me some ... chillleee
Unsuspecting Virgin: (throws chili into Pascoevich's eyes... and then runs and proceeds to trip on her pet goat 'Vindaloo')... oh fu*%!!!
Pascoevich: (dives head first into the lake to avoid the stinging... and emerges shortly... rubbing his eyes and tasting his fingers)... ummmm .. spicy.. i'd say from the northern region of Pakistan...
a little later.... over a campfire and some 'vindaloo'... Pascoevich and his newly betrothed discuss their life plans and Pascoevich's incessant need to wonder. They decide to name their first child 'cataract' after their first meeting and his finally wife agrees to show him some ankle....
18 months later...
Gen Griggs: why that looks like a little naked Pascoevich running around near that lake... but it can't be... he knew the armies policy on sex on tour...
Sarg: he's carrying a condom
Gen Griggs: god damn but i love that russian!!
NB: Pascoevich is a registered trademark of Pascal sweet manufacturers incorporated. The name was subsequently changed from Pascoevich sweets in the first world war after people likened the appearance of the companies founder to one Leon Trotsky.. but as one housewife in suburban Gundawai claimed... 'he just looked to new age with his high fangled hair and edible condoms'...
See
