What is Penn Goggles?
1.
After much time spent holed up in the University of Pennsylvania, the inability to tell the difference between Brad Pitt and Brad "I rather resemble a huge piece of" Shitt. Typical outcomes usually range from self-induced blindness to denial to, in the worst-case scenario, complete aversion of the opposite sex or resorting to partners such as the homeless man who paces in front of Wawa or the ladies who so meticulously swipe cards at Commons.
Sometimes, even penn goggles aren't strong enough to make the average student at Penn look attractive. Most times, however:
(friend from home, looking at pictures)
Friend: Ew, how'd this girl get in the picture with you. She should've lost major points on her SAT for ugliness.
Penn guy: Yeah, that's, uh.. my girlfriend.
Friend: Oh, wow. Do you need your perscription checked on your glasses buddy?
Penn guy: No, I actually don't wear glasses, I'm just wearing penn goggles.
See
2.
The transformation of the retinas of the eyeballs in students of the University of Pennylvania. This phenomenon inhibits the ability of the retina to correctly reflect light patterns, which results in a greatly miscontstrued judge of beauty. A slow acting affliction, taking course over much time, growing stronger constantly. Close relative of
Yo man, when I first met her I didn't think she was pretty at all, but now that penn goggles are in full effect, I want to fuck the shit out of her!
See
