What is Pes Effect?
1.
The common act of everything going tits up at once, as seen by increasing the difficulty of Pro Evolution Soccer to anything above 3 atars.
Usual signals of the PES Effect include:
Pschic powers of opponents to read your mind
Telekinetic powers of opponents to make every bounce go their way
Powers of teleportaion so that whenever you do get a lucky break, they are there to steal the ball
The inability of your players to pass
The absolute certainty that when you do get a chance on goal, your centre back who can't hit a barn door is there to take the shot
The internet packing up as you try to write this kind of rant
It usually results in turning the difficulty down to one star and giving the computer a good thrashing "to show it who's boss"; hitting anyone/anything within reach or assaulting anything within throwing distance with a playstation controller
It can also happen in many everyday situations such as during brain surgery, when you drop your scalpel into the patient's head and trip on a bit of brain on the floor at the same time. Then, after you retrieve the scalpel from the cranial cavity...they die; this results in you throwing the scalpel/the patient at any nearby nurses proclaiming "you did your best"
"Damn this PES Effect, I can't even get the fucking ball, let alone score!"
"Wahey, I've got a chance here...oh shit it's Stremer (wank centre back on PES)... and it's into the crowd. This is all because of the PES Effect."
"The PES Effect is wank"
"HA, 27-0 to me, take that you fucking computer and your shitty PES Effect."
"Don't worry doctor, it was the PES Effect, you did nothing wrong...WHY ARE YOU THROWING SCALPELS AT ME!!!!"
See
