What is Phantom Ace?
1.
a poo that disappears round the bend of the loo before you stand up, and leaves no trace of pooey remnants on your arse when you wipe.
There is no actual proof that this has ever happened.
"I thought i had a poo, but there was nothing in the pan. When I wiped my arse, there was nothing there!"
"Youve had a phantom ace, mate."
See
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"Let's go kick some mittens."
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