What is Phil Aiken?
1.
Phil is Clay's cousin. He looks just like Clay, but a little redder and with more auburn-like shade of hair. He is about the goofiest guy ever and laughs in the most obnoxious way possible. He owns his own painting franchise and dedicates half his life to asking people to paint houses.
Phil is also a genius. He understands the meaning of life. He knows nonlinear third order statistics like the back of his hand. He can take the inverse fourier transform of just about any graph he sees.
We all know a few Phil Aiken's. The one I know goes to Johns Hopkins.
1. "Holy shit, you got a perfect score! Are you Phil Aiken?"
2. Yo, that guy looks just like clay! But he's not clay. Is he Phil Aiken?
3. HWAHWAHWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! (phil aiken's laugh)
4. "Those are pretty ambitious plans, but you know we all can't be Phil Aikens."
