What is Philivia?
1.
The illegitimate child of a 20-year old jobless, carless "man" (small man with small wonders, See 'Phillip') and an emotionally desperate, moderately overweight, Chipotle employee. Philivias are usually born overdue and slightly to moderately overweight. Normal Philivia characteristics include rectangular-shaped eyebrows, love handles, and chipped or cracked teeth, with or without gaps. They can normally be found in the employee lounge of the Good Egg or in a knockoff Chanel store with its mother buying track suits.
Can also be used to describe any person, thing, or situation that is unatractive, dirty, or otherwise unpleasant.
"Bro, whens your wife due?"
"She was due two months ago. I think we're having a fucking Philivia!"
"Man, that sucks"
"Who left this rotten chinese food in the fridge?"
"That's just my baby, Philivia."
"Dude, i think i have food poisoning. I keep having to take a huge Philivia"
"Baby, will you bring me that box of deep-fried twinkies?"
"Isn't this your third box today?"
"I'm hungryyyyyyyyy."
"You're being a total Philivia!"
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