What is Phosphorus?
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1. a highly explosive chemical that combusts upon contact with oxygen and is derived from the boiling-out of water from a substance known as urine, or, in simple terms, a flammable powder that comes from boiled piss.
Some say that phosphorus was discovered by a genius. My personal opinion is that it was discovered by a drunken fool who wanted to make coffee but had had his water line disconnected because he forgot to pay the bill.
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While conducting the Rusty Trombone, you secretly sneak in a ping-pong paddle and slap the recipiant's testicles with a furious rag..
