What is Piece Rating?
1.
An accurate, yet surprisingly concise, method of pinpointing the precise attractiveness of a female.
First, identify the specimen on a simple 1-20 scale (1 being a monkey after a house fire, 20 being Teri Hatcher in "The New Adventures of Superman".) Having done this, match her to the following piece-derived notation:
20: Piece de la resistance
19: War and Piece
18: Masterpiece
14-17: Piece (original)
12-13: Codpiece
1-11: n/a
Consider these vertical ratings. Alongside these, one might add a horizontal rating to note a certain flavour of bird or piece-related individual.
Greenpiece: Ecologically-minded or hygenically-challenged fluff.
Ringpiece: She's married.
Piece of cake: slag.
Hair piece: nice hair. Pity the face.
Mantel piece: Show the parents. Don't let her speak.
Three piece suite: Three of them. At the same time. All at once.
Piecekeeper: Male owner.
Piecemeal: Expensive rooting attempt.
Piece negotiations: "I always masturbate thinking of you." and such necessary rubbish.
Wilhelm II : Christ alive! 'Twas a masterpiece I just spied!
Edmund III: Aye. Alas t'has a piecekeeper. Negotiations will be tough.
An example of a piece rating in discussion.
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