What is Ponca Pines Academy?
1.
Ponca Pines Academy is a so called "transitional program" for girls ages 17-19. Well, unless you are planning on making a transition into either jail or the psych ward, this is NOT the place for you! The staff is made up of a group of bitchy 20-somethings who constantly whine about their non-existant love lives, text their boyfriends, and gossip about other staff and students. The quality of your stay here really depends if the staff likes you or not as they can punish you and take away priveleges simply because they feel like it. "Fair" is not a word that these pea-brained, redneck "women" comprehend. The rodent-faced therapist named Marty (RAT)Finkle makes it clear that she really doesn't give a shit about you by answering her phone and texting during your weekly therapy sessions (if she even decides to show up). If you are a wealthy, uninterested parent who could, quite frankly, care less about the well-being of your daughter, then Ponca Pines is the place for you! And best of all... The staff will be glad to tell you anything you'd like to hear to ensure that they receive their $7,000 a month check! With a 0% satisfaction rate, this is the ideal place to send your kid if you'd like them to commit suicide or (if somehow they make it out) NEVER talk to you again.
After my 5 month stint at
Ponca Pines Academy I was commited to the psych ward and put on mood stabilizers and antipsychotics! Thanks mom and dad!
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