What is Poonar Eclipse?
1.
A natural phenomenon that occurs when a human female passes in between a human male/female and a group of human females unrelated to the moving body, the group is thus wholly or partially obscured. The veracity of the event is dictated by the variables in the equation:
((x-wu)(e^y))/z
Where:
x = the scope of sexual attractiveness of the moving body
w = the size of the group
u = the highest constant with regard to sexual attractiveness within the group.
e represents the base of the natural logarithm (2.71828...)
y = volume of alcohol consumed by the observer
z = velocity of her viewable ellipse.
NOTE: This equation has been the subject of criticism as it does factor in variables such as ambiant lighting conditions and the groups average mass minus u where the difference between that and u would be an aggrivating factor.
More attractive females that move slower create a greater and longer total poonar eclipse , however an equation resulting in a negative sum would be - if the event occured at all - referred to as a partial poonar eclipse. The term 'poonar eclipse' is dichotomously related to 'inadvertent cock blocking'; despite the fact that - as its inverse suggests - there a frequent lack of intent, injuries and collisions between the bodies have been known to occur.
The poonar eclipse was first observed by Johannes Kepler in 1620 who mistook the event for dust and gases being sucked into Jupiter's gravitational pull from the asteroid belt; a number of eclipses have also been documented on Mayan calendars. The first scientists to recognize the event were astronomers: Dr. Casey Robbers (who coined the term) and Dr. William Bartlett Brittian during a field study of the Ratzenberger Theory of Neuro-natural Selection* in Asheville, North Carolina (US), along with their assistant and designated driver Timothy Nathan Teves.
Witnessed by Sean T. Aardema, a passer-by, the event was documented by J.E.Silberman, a lexiconographer famous for coining the phrase 'poodling'. In his 2008 biographical work: The Dumbest Motherfuckers on the Planet Today.
Silberman recalls several lines of dialogue from his notes, he writes:
Dr. Roberts: Dude, look at that, its like a total fuckin' poonar eclipse.
Dr. Brittan: Total poonar eclipse man.
Teves: Uh, guys, I think that girl has an adam's apple.
Dr. Brittan: (strikes Dr. Roberts) Fag.
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