What is Porn?
1.
The best thing in the world
If all the Arab terrorists would stop strapping themselves with explosives for just a moment and go check out some porn, they'd find a new lease on life and we could all get along!
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2.
the reason you need a new hard drive.
dude, how do you find all that porn.
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3.
The traditional way for young female Americans to afford university education (those not from wealthy families).
America is the land of opportunity - everyone can succeed if they are willing to involved themselves in some porn to get their university education.
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4.
Arousing materials usually employed for masturbatory purposes.
It's often said that the most senstive part of your body during a porn session is your ears - no one likes getting busted with their undies around their ankles.
But, the use of porn doesn't need to be such an ugly experience. 'The Big Wank' (see below) is an example of how you can add more mystique and romance to your evening at home alone.
We all know the quickie wank is the preferred method for those in a hurry. However, if you've got the place to yourself, why not spice things up a bit? 'The Big Wank' is a tried-and-tested method to do just that.
Start by cooking a romantic dinner for one. Choose a fine red, and dine by candle-light. It's important to start developing some pre-porn ambience.
Follow dinner with a long sensuous bath - don't forget those scented oils and more candles - and towel off with a fresh, warmed
fluffy towel (quality gentlemen, please).
Retire to the boudior, taking your selected porn for the evening with you. If your porn isn't in magazine form (and these days assalicious seems to win out over the printed form), you might need to get wireless installed, or invest in a really long cable to your broadband router.
Don't rush it. Light an oil burner or some incense. More candles placed strategically around the bedroom can help create a special porn-reading atmosphere.
Browse through your porn at a leisurely pace. Your objective should be to develop a really nice fantasy sequence with your selected images.
When you are ready, arrange your porn in sequence around you on the bed, and gently ease yourself towards a well-deserved orgasm.
Try it - you'll be pleased you did!
5.
A great American pastime.
Baseball lost its title of the great American pastime when the internet was invented
6.
something that both sexes can enjoy.
why can't people believe that i'm a chick and that i have my own porn collection?
7.
n. Reading and viewing material, otherwise known as 'cliterature'.
As Bill Hicks once said "any material devoid of content that induces sexual thoughts. So every advertising campaign on TV. When I'm watching that double-mint commercial 'double the pleasure - double the fun' with those twins; I'm not thinking about gum, that's for fucking sure"
