What is Port Alberni?
1.
A depressed little city, constantly being financially hit because of it's dependency on a resource based economy. Many inhabitants (especially political figures, both past and present) have their heads buried so far up their asses, it's a wonder that any daylight ever reaches their eyes. A nice place to visit, but be damned glad if you can leave. This city is infested with lazy welfare sucking river chimps (see definition in Urban Dictionary)
I lived in Port Alberni once, but got the fuck out as soon as I realized it was going nowhere, and that the river chimp population was increasing at too great a rate.
2.
***Non racist definition****
A small forest industry dependent town on Vancouver island. Full of welfare bums, drunks, gold diggers and goat fucking hicks. The people who do live there that have any form of alternative mentality that doesn't involve church, welfare checks, beer, or logging are bored completely out of their skulls. most of these people have been duped into living there somehow and have had so much of their livelihood sucked out of their skulls that escape is now impossible. the suicide rate is directly proportionate to the unemployment rate, which is directly proportionate the average between the illiteracy and drug/alcohol dependency rates.
Ron moved to Port Alberni. He has shot himself because of the massive amount of debt incurred from living there.
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3.
a shit-hole , that smells like a garbage dump.
I'd rather live on skid row than live in port alberni
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4.
Verb: when one lays on their shoulders and squeezes out a diarrhea shit and has it land on ones own face.
Johnny showed me the grossest picture ever, it was some girl in a tub taking a giant port Alberni.
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5.
A bumbling little hick town full of evolutionary throwbacks of all creeds and cultures, the only place in the world to develop the H (Hillbilly) chromosome through a combination of constant inbreeding and the fallout that blew in from the chernobyl accident. These H chromosome victims get together in contrived little groups and gossip and talk about subjects totally devoid of any meaning or sense, they just like to vibrate their vocal chords. The are smells like human waste due to their inability and lack of consideration to treat their own sewage, the bumbling yokels would prefer to "sleep where they shit" like pigs. Infested with crackheads, gold diggers, white trash and every other color of trash under the sun, it is a disgusting little pock mark on the planet. It simultaneously burning to the ground and sinking into the ocean would only beautify the surrounding nature, the only tragedy is there would be no more clam bucket, that place is the only place that makes a decent burger.
"Port alberni? Isn't that just another word for incestuous anal rape??"
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6.
a website dedicated to the hillbillies in Port Alberni (see Urban Dictionary definition) so they can spew strings of words about nothing relevant from their empty skulls to the interwebs.
I went to alberni to see what Port alberni is all about, and I'm just stopping for some gas and some pep'n'cheese sticks on my way to Tofino. Or else I catch whatever disease these throwbacks have that gave them the brain damage to spew this waste of serverspace on the internet.
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7.
Another word for one of those monster shits that make your ass bleed a little and stinks so bad it makes you gag on your own shit.
Man, I took a Port Alberni this morning and had to throw up in the sink while sitting on the toilet.
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