What is Port Huron?
1.
A place where everyone sucks at life.
Full of sluts, and jackasses only looking for sluts.
A redneck town trying to be city.
Full of crazy farm girls and wild turkeys in apartment parking lots.
A place where everyone knows your name, and who you've slept with.
A shit hole breeding ground for scum bag losers.
All on the backdrop of a gorgeous Great Lake, PH has great potential but needs to vomit out the bullshit first!
And who can forget the wonderful Blue Water Bridges??? With a beautiful view of Canada's factory's
In the summertime, mixed in with the wonderful smell of fresh cut grass and cat piss!
Ah...home sweet home....
Bob - "So what do you think hell is like?"
Phil - "Have you ever been to Port Huron?"
Bob - "That bad huh?"
Phil - "No, Port Huron is worse"
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2.
A magical land where no one ever grows up. Like Neverland. Only no one can fly. Maturity is difficult to find, until you manage to GTFO and go to college.
Unfortunately, some Port Huron natives never make it out. And some that do still find it difficult to get a life and leave their pre-teen drama behind.
Bitchy Port Huron girl who never grew up #1: "OMG! We should all go to the club and represent Port Huron!"
Bitchy Port Huron girl who never grew up #2: "OMG! You are so right! I hear Girls Gone Wild is in Detroit! We should go be whores who think they are attractive!"
Bitchy Port Huron girl who grew up, moved out, and got a real life and a job after graduating: "No, you shouldn't. Because you are not nearly as hot as you think you are."
Port Huron male: "I'd hit it anyway. But I kinda take what I can get around Port Huron."
See
