What is Portoccini?
1.
An Alfred of oriental descent, fond of eating compressed rice in a small thermos at lunchtime. Often has some kind of fruit available, but he rarely gets to eat it because of the nearby De Iacoccini who steals it.
The wild Portoccini uses a spoon to shovel out the sticky, compressed rice.
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2.
A universal word, moreso than the f-word, allowing it to be used in nearly every situation possible.
Person A: That kid is such a foig.
Person B: Portoccini?
Person A: PORTO-CCINI!
Person A: Dude...why didn't you do the TECH project?
Person B: I was too busy wacking my Portoccini.
Person A: PORTO-CCINI!
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