What is Rihanna?
1.
1. Proof that the music industry is no longer a raw, gifted talent extruder. More like a money sucking, take-a-quasi-supermodel chick-between-the-ages of 12-21-sex her up-record her horrible voice-and-use state-of-the-art equipment to alter her voice into sounding like pre-21st century Whitney Houston-Shoot a video of her masturbating-and-force youth to buy the album through brainwashing promotion-mechanism.
2. A teenager with questionable parental guidance who must have sold her unriped body for a recording contract.
3. A joke.
4. A dollar store version of a Bratz doll.
5. To sing in a voice used a torture devices in nuclear wars.
6. Someone who needs to be bombed down by a Japanese fighter jet.
Mother: Hey...Hey! Since you didn't eat your broccili, I'm gonna make you listen to Rihanna's umbrella 47-times for the rest of the night!
Child: (screams at the top of his lungs) Mommie, NO! NOOOOOOOO!!!! (stomps and cries hysterically) I'm sorry! I'M SORRYYYYYYYYYYY!
Mom: (turns on Rihanna's "Umbrella" and put child in time-out) If you leave this seat, I will spank you!
Child: Give me the spanking! GIVE ME THAT SPANKING! (The child takes Rihanna's CD out and breaks it into pieces, He pulls down his pants and happily takes the spanking instead)
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2.
A singer from the islands that got famous with her hit single "Pon De Replay."
Rihanna runs in the club when no one is shooting.
3.
The one of the most overrated singers of all time
Man, Rihanna is so overrated
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4.
an
Policeman: You're under arrest for the suspicion of your part in a murder
Rihanna: But I didn't do anything!
Policeman (singing lyrics) "I just cheated on my boyfreind, I don't want to be a murderer, If i cheat on my boyfreind he will die, being unfaithful kills, I am unfafthful", not word for word, but this is as good as a confession, come on: your coming down to the station with me
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5.
A person that has a huge forehead.
I was playing fight night and I took devastating blow to the Rihanna!
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6.
n. Chris Brown's punching bag
Personal Trainer: "You sure worked up a sweat in there, Chris."
Chris Brown: "Yeah, I was just practicing those boxing drills you showed me on Rihanna."
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7.
A recent singing sensation straight from the tiny Caribbean nation of Barbados, Rihanna was discovered during a talent show in her home island. After sending demo tapes to various labels, she was eventually able to perform infront of Jau-Z, who signed her to his label immediately.
Since then, the captivatingly beautiful Bajan has achieved success with such songs such as 'Pon de Replay' (admittedly, played out) and 'SOS.'
Rihanna is beautiful.
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