Roger Clemens

What is Roger Clemens?


1.

A) The opposite of Greg Maddux. A cheater with a bad attitude, anger issues, and a lone wolf mentality. Plays for himself, and quite willing to throw his family and friends under the bus to make sure his cheating ways don't hurt his hall of fame chances.

B) VERB To backstab someone in order to avoid heat.

C) When having vaginal intercourse with a girl, pull out and instantly ram it into her ass, like a steroids needle.

(P.S. Greg Maddux was denied Cy Young awards when he was the best pitcher in the league, and Roger Clemens has won them when he wasn't. And one of them likes to have needles jammed into his ass, and I'll give you a hint, it isn't Greg Maddux.)

A) Roger Clemens is the epitome of what a major league baseball player should not be.

B) My best friend pulled a Roger Clemens on me.

C) Way to go, McNamee.

See clemens, steroids, pitcher, baseball

2.

Greg Maddux is better because Roger Clemens is a cheater.

Sure, Roger Clemens has more Cy Youngs, All-Star appearances, and strikeouts, but his bloodstream is also baseball's oldest chemical factory.

See baseball, pitchers, cheaters, steroids

3.

Now a 45 year old attention whore, Clemens was once a great baseball player who has played for the Toronto Blue Jays, the Houston Astros, and the New York Yankees. As he got older he's become a roid freak to win back his long time boyfriend Brian McNamee. But it costed him his respect and fame.

Roger Clemens is too old. But he just won't give up.

See roger clemens, new york, yankees, mlb, mets, pitcher

4.

The best pitcher in the history of Major League Baseball. A six-time Cy Young award winner for best pitcher in the American league. Also a mercenary who never really cared about the success of his teams; he only cared about winning a World Series for himself.

Roger Clemens is a great pitcher, but I hate him.

5.

annually returning weed of major league baseball. was once a dominant pitcher,but has for the last four years has retired and continuously whined about making a decision to pitch again. for the last three years he played for his hometown houston astros, claiming he wanted to be near home and be in the same organization as his son.

he now claims that he wants to go to a contender, where he can "make a difference." he signed with the new york yankees, a team in desperate need of pitching.

coincidentally, he will be seen as a "savior" which will play serve into his massive ego. another team he said he considered was boston, the best team in baseball as of his signing, and a team that could also have used another starter. truth be told, he didn't sign with boston not because they didn't offer enough money (they offered about two million dollars a month less than new york's $28 million for roughly four months)but because he would not have been the same media circus he will be in new york; he would have almost blended in with hero curt schilling, 6-0 unbeaten josh beckett, japanese legend daisuke matsuzaka, and the rejuvenated tim wakefield.

roger clemens is a schmuck.

See roger, clemens, yankees, pitcher, schmuck

6.

An overrated, ancient pitcher who should probably retire. Greg Maddux is better.

Joe Morgan: We have news that Roger Clemens will now be appearing on the mound accompanied with a walker and an oxygen tank.

See villain, vile, overrated, tool, pitcher

7.

Roger Clemens is a MLB pitcher who started out with the Boston Red Sox, but has also played for the Toronto Blue Jays, the New York Yankees, and the Houston Astros, is currently with the Yankees. A 7 time Cy Young award winner (though it would've been 8 if the Astros could learn how to hit), baseball's highest award for pitching, he has also won an AL MVP award, an All-Star MVP award, the picthing triple crown twice, where he lead the league in strikeouts, wins, and ERA. He was also on two teams that won the World Series. He is an 11 time All-Star, a 5 time Sporting News Pitcher of the year, and a sure Hall of Fame canidite. In two seprate 9 inning games, he threw 20 strikeouts while walking no one. Altough he has annouced his retirement several times only to come back, it wasn't for the money, as although he has signed contracts worth $22 million dollars, he has only been paid half the amout. Instead, he only comes back so he can win another World Series ring. Another contrversey has been whether or not he does steroids. Some people seem to think that just because he has gotten bigger with age, done well in the NL in his fourties, where picthers go to bat instead of the AL Designated Hitter, and has been accused of using steroids by two well known users, Gary Sheffield and Jose Cansaco, that he's a user. The only thing Clemens hasn't done in his carrer is throw a no-hitter, or win a Gold Glove award and a World Series MVP.

Roger Clemens is the greatest pitcher of all time. Suck on it haters.

See al, nl, mvp


3

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